I write about my journey through self-exploration and awareness; doesn’t everyone? Here, though, there are tendencies toward green living, veg*nism, travel, relationships and complaining. :)
Pros:
- Can work from anywhere there is internet access.
- Flexibility.
- No commute.
- When at home, can rock out or have NPR on.
- No one is watching me.
- Can work naked, if desired.
- Sometimes the BG is here.
- Can remain in pajamas and dirty for any length of time, even days.
- Enhances independent work attitude and habits.
On some days there are minutes where I feel relaxed. On other days there are hours where I feel too complex and can’t complete even the most simple of tasks. There are yet other days where I know I’m fighting something bigger. Huge. I am fighting the universe. And the more I fight it the more miserable I become. Things cannot always be *my* way.
The days I fight are the days I remember most because they’re the ones where I feel the most awful. They’re the ones I deal out blame. I blame the city of Raleigh for making me feel enclosed, I blame myself for losing my independence, I blame my friends for not taking our relationships more seriously, I blame this apartment for my claustrophobia, I blame the BG for being too good, I blame the media for not enlightening us, I blame my family for not trying harder to see things the way I do, I blame the US for most of the world’s collective misery, I blame soccer moms for driving poorly, I blame breeders for perpetuating the problem. The list never ends. All of this blame and judgement, all because I cannot control the way things are and cannot accept that I do not have the control.
During moments of relaxation I feel completely integrated into my surroundings. I don’t think about them, they just are. Nothing can go wrong because nothing is touching me. It is because these moments happen so rarely for me, or that they’re mostly induced when certain conditions apply, that I am making a vow today. My perceptions of life are skewed and I recognize that as an issue.
The thing that sucks is now that we’re getting all serious about launching these other blogs and living our lives in a more public view, I’m holding back here, because I’m embarrassed and ashamed of how weak I’ve been and I’m not wanting it to affect the other goals the BG and I are trying to achieve.
I hate to say this, but I honestly wish I could just smoke a bowl and space out once in a while. You know, just like I did way back when…
Ugh.
Don’t try too hard; our story is unique. I truly believe we have a wonderful dream to share with the cob house and farm. Living off the grid in an earthen home is not what I would call a typical American dream, and it’s been tough to find information regarding the technical aspects of energy-independence (everyone seems to run petroleum-based generators or is hooked into the grid as a backup). This means that a lot of the work is up to us. Since we’ll be getting into the nitty gritty of conservation, self-sufficiency, construction, organic farming and financial responsibility, I believe anyone with an interest in any of those areas could gain something from our articles, even if they have no intention of actually building a house or starting a farm.
Get used to public life. What I find successful in blogs and articles is a sense of honesty and vulnerability in the author. There are no tricks to what we’re going to be doing and since neither of us has *any* experience there are bound to be fuckups. Embrace them and write.
Write often and on a regular basis. In order to attract and maintain consistent traffic we need to offer fresh content several times per week. If the story is compelling enough, people will come and read it, but their interest won’t be limitless. We gotta keep em’ coming back for more!
Start now. It takes a while to come into a writing style, and although the BG and I write personal blogs we do so not necessarily to gain popularity. There will be some adjustment, whether consciously or not, on style, rhythm and story-telling.
Utilize supplemental online tools. Twitter, Flickr and similar online community-based sites can help widen and support our reader base, especially since we will be photo- and video-logging all our adventures.
Most importantly, and this is something we need (and I want) so badly right now: a schedule. There. I said it. We need to have it in our heads that on this day we write this much, or on this other day we edit video and we get it done. It needs to be structured yet flexible. I don’t suspect we’re going to be successful going into it thinking anything else.
I can’t tell you how excited we both are to get started. Currently I’m still designing the house/farm blog and when it’s complete I’ll use it to create the template for the trip blog. My sincere hope is that we do it. Actually, truly do it, because one thing I’ve noticed about the BG and I is that we’re full of ideas and our plans change all the time, but man do we have some attention deficit issues. Our flexibility mostly serves us well but sometimes leads to an endless list of things to do and research and who can get anything done in that state?
It’s time to weed out, organize and focus!
But for now? I’m being a silly motherfucker commenting all over m’s blog.
You miss me, I know.
Feeling unorganized. Taking on a lot of freelance work. Buying a new Prius with the BG. Calling and getting a shitload of car insurance rates. Finding out I’m forced to get my NC drivers license. Insurance is a scam. DMVs are a scam. Owning a car is expensive and you only really figure that out after you stopped owning one for a while. Car dealers are a scam. It’s been hot as hell here lately. Exercise and yoga have been spotty, I just feel busy all the time (see “unorganized” comment above). Loving my friends in Raleigh (Morgan’s leaving in a couple of months, that kinda sucks). I’ve been having heart palpitations again, this time worse than ever. Just looked out the window and am seeing SMOKE from an eastern North Carolinia wildfire and thought it was smog. We’re leaving for Georgia tomorrow and the BG’s family doesn’t know yet that we bought the car. The other day I noticed that I’ve been here longer than I lived in Portland. Kinda sad, kinda happy. I’m cooking more, because I’m tired of waiting to be cooked for. ;) ME HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. CHOMP CHOMP
A more mature entry coming soon, I swear.
In the meantime, look at my car’s butt:
