Take me.
All things change, shift, expand, contract. Energy is everywhere and all matter is moving. All the choices I’ve made result in standing in this place… of solidity, flexibility, movement… of rain.
I look up, the cool drops fall on my hair and seep down to my scalp where the water warms and runs through, down, as gravity pulls. Over and over the drops are there and I stop thinking to notice them tapping.
Do you remember me?
How many minutes, hours, days does one waste on all the particulars of situations? Is all the analysis worth forgetting the beautiful things one can’t see when the mind’s attention is inward? Coming back into the moment I can see the leaves, the trees, the rain, the clouds. I imagine how the world around me would seem and look if my mind’s eye were fixated on just these elements.
They are all there, all the time, continually reminding us of what matters. But we create illusions for ourselves that take us away from the present moment and natural environment. We are here, but we aren’t. We exist, but always in another time or place. We believe we don’t deserve the beautiful things that appreciation and love can bring. We forget the smells and sounds of what’s happening right now. And still, quietly, wind blows, leaves rustle, clouds drift. The elements always forgive us.
I stare into the sky, and watch time pass.
Pause. Look up. Step back. It is the movement within, the traveler inside, who will never be free unless the ride is taken and not forgone. When I look around me and notice all the things I haven’t seen for days, months, I understand how crowded the mind must become to forget them.
No wonder I am so exhausted sometimes. There is no physical activity that could tire me as much as when my mind sprints for miles without rest. And through the years, I’ve come to understand that though I rarely ever slow down, I do always improve. Sometimes, though, it’s nice to relax into the moment.
So tonight I regain control. I walk in the cold, pouring rain with consciousness. My mind is set to absorb the elements instead of protecting myself from them. Push out the unnecessary, accept the present, be mindful of the choices but simply watch the thoughts pass by. Rest.
This is what matters.
