Monthly Archive for March, 2008

minimalist lifestyle

Both a challenge and a reward.

I claim to live a minimalist life. This is probably only true depending on your idea of minimal. I certainly don’t only live by the bare essentials, as “minimalism” can be defined, but do in fact make a conscious attempt each day to strip further what I own, carry around, “need” and use. And that, people, is the challenge.

I’ve somehow obtained the “thing”, whether by a careful plan or overexcited impulse, and determining if it is worthy enough to stay in my possession (usually if I haven’t used it in a while) takes time and thoughtful consideration. I’ve let go of a lot of things I’ve held onto “just in case”. For years. Stupid little things that I can do without, obviously, because I only had them for some sort of mindless emergency. The challenge is to reach that point of ultimate Yes or No with myself… Is this thing really worth it?

Yesterday, we cleaned out more from our apartment. And by ‘cleaned out’ I mean getting to a point where we can straighten up without just pulling the curtains over everything. By even speaking of cleaning up the apartment, we mean to pull things off the shelves and out from under the bed and go through it.

I am admittedly obsessive about being tidy. A few years ago I’d probably rather have lived in an apartment with not more stuff, but more space, just to see more of the walls and floor, which makes me feel more at ease. Within ample living space, it is so much easier have and keep things in order. But, now that I see all the rewards of living smaller, I *love* this apartment, and I love what we’ve done to it. This place makes me think: Where do I put this? How do I organize these? Will I find that later? Do we really need this crap?… All with the underlying question of Is this logical? testing to be answered each time. With not much space for stuff, I’m kind of forced to keep this up.

Living small wasn’t really a priority for me, and didn’t become one, consciously, until I started my move to Oregon. Getting rid of so much stuff was *refreshing*. It was quite overwhelming when I started, but after it was done I was so excited that I had dwindled everything down to a few boxes plus whatever else could fit in the car. Amazingly, I came back over to North Carolina with even less.

So, what are the rewards?

First, I now save money. Seriously, I don’t spend a dime of my paycheck, everything goes in the bank. This week we’re both about to pay off the last of our student loans and be completely debt free.

Second, I think about transportation more, and all of the downfalls of owning a car. (We’re lucky to have a car for now… and, one that we didn’t actually buy, but the repair and fuel costs are ridiculous, so biking/walking is more commonplace and I take the bus when it works out.)

Third, I am more mobile. I can go anywhere with ease. Moving isn’t nearly a big a deal as when I left Virginia and traveling is much more fun with less shit to deal with.

Fourth, it reinforces (and supports) all of my important values: Sustainability, simplicity, self-awareness (and awareness of one’s place in the universe). I am no longer of the belief that fancy possessions encourage happiness. In fact, for me, they just get in the way.

Fifth, it carries over into everything else in my life. I feel efficient. Smart. Simple. True. I am not held down.

Now that I own less, I have less to lose, more money in the bank and am lucky enough to share the whole thing with someone pretty special who feels the same way I do. The funny thing is, now it’s become a bit of an addiction… to see how little I can live on/carry around/take with me. I find that after I’ve sold, donated or pitched certain things, even the ones I thought I couldn’t say goodbye to, I don’t really miss them that much after all. ;)

dj girl

I sold all my DJ equipment in Portland before I moved to Raleigh because it was just going to be too damned expensive to ship such heavy items. And wouldn’t you know… all of a sudden I want to mix up some tracks?

Some dude at some swanky club in Raleigh also told me to bring him a demo. I’m sure he would have hired me. After all, I have tits. But… I probably won’t do it as I have nothing to practice on.

Stupid expensive hobbies.

the fuchsia

If you’d asked me one year ago if I ever dreamed of getting married, the look you would have gotten could have answered your ridiculous question before you finished asking it. I have trouble with promises. It’s just *not possible* to know how you’ll feel in the future.

But I think I had it all wrong. And this is an aspect of the BG that I’ve come to admire, adore and continually aspire to integrate into an ever-changing me. He lives in the moment.

Not even a month after I met him, the BG told me he thought we should get tattoos together. I don’t remember my exact reaction, but it was probably something in between a polite brush-off and a sudden freak-out. It scared the shit out of me. And during all the months of excitement, traveling, loving, debunking my relationship woes, I was still shoving that little idea he had to the very dark, dank corner of my mind so I could sleep at night. I mean, is this kid even for real? Wtf?

But… am *I* for real? I left a dream situation in my dream city to come back to the east coast to live in a shoebox with someone I’d only known for seven effing months.

Yea.

The idea of the tattoos has casually been discussed here and there since I moved to Raleigh but I needed to make a decision on what it meant to *me* so that I can come to terms with getting something permanently inked on my body with a significant other. I needed it to mean something personal so that no matter where I am in my mind I never regret the decision for a moment.

Last week, I did the best I could. And our one year thingy rolled by last Monday and we were both like, What should we do to celebrate?

I said let’s go get tattooed.

Here is what the Fuchsia Blossom tattoo symbolizes to me:
- The first plant (of many) the BG gave to me to decorate my house in Portland.
- A love that has opened my eyes during a period of monumental self-change.
- That tattoos are permanent, and ideas (thoughts, attitudes, habits, judgements, decisions) are not.
- The day I took a blossom from the plant and put it in the hand of a blind man as we got off the bus on my way to work. (A day I felt a pure goodness inside which made me very happy.)
- That I now believe in fighting for something other than just *me*.
- That each moment is all I have. No more, no less.

Fucshia Tattoo

Just as the Four Agreements tattoo serves as a reminder to do my best, the Fuchsia Blossom tattoo reminds me to live in the moment.

Pics of the Fuchsia Blossom tattoos. :)

366 days

Well, it’s a leap year… but officially? The BG and I have been together for *one whole year*.

I can’t believe it’s been a year already… and at the same time I can’t believe it’s ONLY been a year. ;)

<3 <3 <3

One Year!!!

amazement

Exactly one year ago, I was enjoying a glass of wine with my new roommates in Portland. I had just arrived an hour ago and was reveling to myself what an accomplishment this was for me.

Front of House on 15th

In five more days I’ll be in total amazement… *again*. ;)

Here are the photos from my trip last year.

(I chose Portland based on articles such as this. I’m sad to say that this is why I miss it most… because no matter where I go, nothing seems to stack up.)