weak

I’ve taken the self-awareness thing too far… overanalyzing everything and taking *everything* personally. My commitment to the Four Agreements has seriously wavered and it’s having an extreme negative effect on me. I’m having a hard time centering myself.

The thing that sucks is now that we’re getting all serious about launching these other blogs and living our lives in a more public view, I’m holding back here, because I’m embarrassed and ashamed of how weak I’ve been and I’m not wanting it to affect the other goals the BG and I are trying to achieve.

I hate to say this, but I honestly wish I could just smoke a bowl and space out once in a while. You know, just like I did way back when…

Ugh.

Published
by
frekur
on July 8, 2008
in complaining, goals, relationships, sadness, self-awareness and wtf
. Tags: , , , .

3 Responses to “weak”

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  1. 1 mikaela
    July 8, 2008 at 10:03 am

    what if you wrote just onelittlesecret a couple times a week on your blog? nothing big, or earth-shattering or deep and dark, just… alittleguy :) something that will warm you up to the idea of showing more of the real (un-monitored/un-censored) you? think perceptions back in diaryland days ;)

  2. 2 Brandon is awesome.
    July 9, 2008 at 4:26 am

    Dude… why didn’t you say so? I can make this happen… Maybe even music video night…?

  3. 3 frekur
    July 9, 2008 at 5:57 am

    You two are amazing. :)

    M - That’s a good idea, I’ll see what happens.

    B - I get incredibly self-conscious and paranoid so uhhh… Maybe. :)

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