I write about my journey through self-exploration and awareness; doesn’t everyone? Here, though, there are tendencies toward green living, veg*nism, travel, relationships and complaining. :)
The thing that sucks is now that we’re getting all serious about launching these other blogs and living our lives in a more public view, I’m holding back here, because I’m embarrassed and ashamed of how weak I’ve been and I’m not wanting it to affect the other goals the BG and I are trying to achieve.
I hate to say this, but I honestly wish I could just smoke a bowl and space out once in a while. You know, just like I did way back when…
Ugh.
But for now? I’m being a silly motherfucker commenting all over m’s blog.
You miss me, I know.
Feeling unorganized. Taking on a lot of freelance work. Buying a new Prius with the BG. Calling and getting a shitload of car insurance rates. Finding out I’m forced to get my NC drivers license. Insurance is a scam. DMVs are a scam. Owning a car is expensive and you only really figure that out after you stopped owning one for a while. Car dealers are a scam. It’s been hot as hell here lately. Exercise and yoga have been spotty, I just feel busy all the time (see “unorganized” comment above). Loving my friends in Raleigh (Morgan’s leaving in a couple of months, that kinda sucks). I’ve been having heart palpitations again, this time worse than ever. Just looked out the window and am seeing SMOKE from an eastern North Carolinia wildfire and thought it was smog. We’re leaving for Georgia tomorrow and the BG’s family doesn’t know yet that we bought the car. The other day I noticed that I’ve been here longer than I lived in Portland. Kinda sad, kinda happy. I’m cooking more, because I’m tired of waiting to be cooked for. ;) ME HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. CHOMP CHOMP
A more mature entry coming soon, I swear.
In the meantime, look at my car’s butt:
Seriously, wtf.
I’ve thought a million times about getting the hell out of here and quitting this blog. Then, the other day when I was upgrading my version of WordPress and K2 I panicked for a second, completely forgetting that all of my entries are stored in the database. I was like, SHIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING? WHERE ARE MY ENTRIES… as I watched my FTP app overwrite all those little files… I’m seriously so retarded sometimes it’s painful. REALLY.
The experience taught me two things, one) that I really need to make backups before I upgrade (I know, shut the hell up) and two) that I would DIE if I lost this blog, even though some days I think it’s a compilation of worthless crap.
Some of my entries, however, really remind me of who I am better than any therapist or list-writing or talking to friends could do, which is the reason I started writing here in the first place. It’s totally cliche to say “I have a horrible memory”, but seriously people, I am the worst. This blog was always meant to be one big HEY, REMEMBER THIS SHIT? telling me I’m not a giant poo with overgrown eyebrows. (More on that later.)
I don’t know what my point is. Maybe today since I’m feeling like shit I’m just trying to remind myself that I’m so much more than poo.
Guess I’ll go to bed now…
