“What book has impacted you the most?” asked my new friend Graham
I definitely didn’t think of myself as a reader before moving to Portland. That is because when I read I am looking for the words to have a profound effect on me. (This means I get bored with a lot of books.) I have read some fiction that has captured my attention very well, but for the most part I enjoy reading about concepts that I can apply to improving my everyday life. Concepts that will improve how I view myself, my relationships, the people I love and the world in which we all exist. (All things I now believe to be the most important things in life.)
I’ve put aside Jupiter’s Travels for a bit. I’m about halfway through it, which is a feat for me because it’s a 450 page book (a quantity I find daunting). I will definitely come back to it, and stopped a good spot; he’s on a boat with his motorcycle traveling from Africa to South America.
When I was at the hot springs last week I saw, in the gift shop, a book called Beyond Fear: A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy. I didn’t realize it then but it’s not actually wholly written by Miguel Ruiz; it is about his teachings and is recorded by an author who has followed him for quite some time.
I am not far into it, but have already been penetrated by the idea that certain things are only unlearnable because we believe (dream) them to be. If The Four Agreements taught me anything, it is that everything we “dream” is not truth. Truth comes from the spirit that is the “us” before domestication. But how does one obtain knowledge of who they really are before domestication? It is not as if we consciously remember back that far… (It is the “dream” that is in the way.)
The Mastery of Transformation, which I believe to be a student of right now, is where one gains control over one’s emotions. It is my hope that I will retain a broader perspective of who I am and learn how I fit into the puzzle of humanity, instead of dwelling in the turmoil my mind has been trained to maintain over roughly twenty years of living (the years post-domestication). Of all the thoughts I’ve had lately about massive change I can make to my life (Peace Corps, moving to Raleigh, traveling), really the most important one is this.
When Graham asked me the other night what book impacted me most, I replied that it was Ishmael. Jesse handed me the book four years ago, and I had absolutely no idea what I would learn. When I completed the book I realized several things. One, that I had been waiting for a transformation of this magnitude my whole life up until that point, I just needed a push in the right direction. Two, that I now understand the existence of a bigger picture, how humanity plays a role in it, and what I can do to remain aware while not judging others who don’t yet see it. Three, that being closed-minded about any aspect of living, or of my life, is now not an option.
I also noted to Graham that The Four Agreements book also influenced me greatly. I believe that Ishmael opened my mind to believing that the world is not made up of only me, and that The Four Agreements (and all other works by Ruiz) laid the groundwork for learning to best communicate with others, begin realizing love in all its forms, and exploring ways to realize who I really am, as a child.
I understand now that the art of letting go will be realized through these explorations.
